Bah-Hum-Bug

For many of us Sunday is usually held as a day of rest, as we are to use this day to honor and worship Jesus Christ. And today being Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Christ, it seems that we should want take a double dose of rest today. However, most of us will be spending the day with family. And as we know, dealing with family is far from restful. So at the end of this, which should be the ultimate day of rest, we may instead, find that we are far more exhausted and stressed than we are after a normal day of work. To quote my good friend Sarah, "I couldn't image Christmas without alcohol."

Cheney visits Iraq, attacks kill 19

This was a headline I saw today. It gave me this great mental picture of Dick Chaney going to Iraq and then going bizerk and destroying everything he sees in a Godzilla-type rampage. That's fun to think about, a lot more fun than the real story.

Mega-Quake hits downtown Fort Worth

Last night I visited a local tavern, and partook of some delicious beverages. As often happens when drinking beverages I eventually felt the need to relieve myself. I walked into the bathroom, which appeared to completely empty, and approached the faculties and began to expel any and all unwanted fluids. Just the a huge, thunderous sound erupted from behind me. As it reverberated of the tile walls the sound was so great (surely it would have scared the piss out of me had I not already begun that process), that I jumped back, and in the process soiling the wall, the floor, and a little bit of my shoe. As it turns out I wasn’t alone in the restroom. There was a man, and I can only assume he was a large man, sitting in the stall directly behind me, that I had failed to notice as I walked in. The sound in question, was in fact a fart. Quite possibly the biggest fart ever in Fort Worth, which would place it high in the running for biggest fart world wide. This spine-tingling expulsion of un-holy-ness (and I mean spine-tingling literally because the bass from the blast was enough to cause my vertebrae to vibrate), must have, no doubt registered at least a moderate rating on the Richter Scale. It was truly one of the most frightening sounds I have ever encountered, and I quickly left, because I did not want to discover what sort of odor occupancies a quake of that magnitude.