FAT Tuesday

Many of you may be asking yourself, "Just what is this 'Mardi Gras' I've been hearing so much about?" Many more of you may not be asking yourself that at all. But regardless I am going to tell you. The words Mardi Gras literally translate as "Fat Tuesday". It is the Tuesday immediately preceding Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of Lent, a time of fasting in the Christian faith. Since Christians around the world will begin various fastings and purging, the day before is typically a time to enjoy those indulgences one last time before giving them up. Fat Tuesday celebrations may include anything from loading up on an abundance of pancakes, to a drunken sex romp through the streets of as major city. My personal Fat Tuesday fun will fall somewhere between.

Lent, in virtually all regards, is the opposite of Fat Tuesday. Lent is a period in the Christian Faith that is traditionally marked by three central observances. That being prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Lent is a time of preparation for the coming Resurrection and should be view as an opportunity for self reflection, with the ultimate goal of bettering ones self. The modern tradition of Lent is to give up something that is typically a vice. Many choose to give up sweets, others soft drinks, and some may vow to live without fried food. But edible vices aren't the only ones that can be removed from ones daily diet. Some may opt to give up cursing, while others may make an effort to exercise more, choosing laziness as the vice they will do without. All are valid and noble, and can be accomplished with perseverance and prayer.

Prayer is a fundamental part of Lent. Prayer is a tool that can help keep us away from our much missed and desired vices. But prayer is also a tool which can help us grow closer to God through our fasting. I am thankful for the message that The Judge gave this past Sunday at Awaken about prayer, as well as the prayer journals he passed out. My plan for my journal is to write anytime I feel like I really need to give in and break my fast.

But I think almsgiving is one component of Lent that is often overlooked. One traditional idea is that the money saved by, not drinking sodas for example, could be collected and given to a charity. Unless you switch to more expensive juice during Lent, in which case you would not profit monetarily by not drinking Dr. Pepper. But the spirit of almsgiving, in some fashion should also be present during Lent. If not in monetary form, then perhaps giving time to volunteer can be a great substitute.

This all leads to what I will be giving up for Lent. I've decided to give up more than one thing this year. I have a whole list of vices that I could surely live without and I'm going to choose a few of them to do so this Lenten season. On the one hand, giving up more gives me a better chance of succeeding on at least one, but ideally I can be a healthier person in both mind and body at the end of my 40 days. After much contemplation, here goes the list:

Fried foods
Soft drinks (but only caramel colored ones, so 7-up, Sprite, and Squirt are still okay)
Beer & liquor
and cursing

I decided to put something on the list that comes out of my mouth rather than just going in. I'm not sure yet how difficult it will be to give up cursing, but I plan to use this as my tool for almsgiving. I am going to keep a "swear jar", and anytime I say an illegal word or phrase then I will put a quarter into the jar. Whatever I have collect by Easter will go to a charity to be determined later. My basic rule on deciding what count on cursing and what doesn't is: If I would be uncomfortable saying it in front of the old ladies at church, then it counts. So words that are borderline, such as: sucks, crap, butt, hell or poop - these words are okay. But other words like: fuck, shit, ass, bitch, cock, or damn - these words will cost me a quarter. But I also think, to be fair, I should include certain offensive phrases as illegal. For example, the word "ball" and the word "sucker" are perfectly innocent, but when put together, they'll cost me a quarter. The words anus, and rape aren't all that bad, but the phrase, "rape his anus" is not something I would want the old ladies at church hearing.

I'll need some help in order to actually purge myself of all the vices I've chose this Lent. I plan to pray, but I'll also call on my friends to help me as well. It's possible, even likely, that I will cuss from time to time and not realize I did it. I'm hopeful my friend will call this to my attention and help keep me in line.

And there is another question of what to do on Sundays. Traditionally, Sunday's is a day where it is okay to break the fast. I've contemplated whether or not I want to allow myself to break my fast on these chosen vices. I think that beer will be the easiest for me to give up and I feel like it is the least detrimental, therefore I can allow myself to break my fast on Sunday. But other than that, I plan to do without everything else for the duration of Lent, which I believe is actually 46 days. Today is my last day, before giving up these vices for six weeks and I plan to take advantage in typical Mardi Gras style - do a lot of all of them all at once. I'm drinking a Coke right now, and later I plan to eat some fried chicken, drink some beer, and cuss like an angry sailor.

Happy Fat Tuesday bitches!