This is News

I was watching the local news and as they go to commercial hey show a "teaser" of the upcoming story that they will report on after the break. This was the teaser...

"Why don't pregnant women fall over? The answer may surprise you."

Does this seem extremely stupid? Why would anyone ever report on this? Well the teaser worked beause I stayed tuned to see the report. As it turns out its because pregnant women balance.

Quote of the day

"Smile, work is almost over!" -- A woman said this to me today. Apparently I was walking around with a frown. This could have been because I was working, or it could have been because I was working on only a couple of hours sleep, but one things for sure, I was not in a bad mood before she said this.

This is the equivalent of saying, "Sounds like somebody has a case of the Monday's."
I reckon she should get her ass kicked for saying something like that.

Boogie Burger

Quite possibly one of the best burgers I have ever eaten. Boogie Burger is a mom and pop hole-in-the-wall place located on the south side of East Lancaster, just west of the old Stripling Cox building*. And actually before yesterday I never knew of its existence. And its no wonder I never noticed it before, typically in that stretch of Lancaster I just keep my eyes on the road in front of me. I don't usually notice the businesses along there because I don't look to the side. I don't want to look over and accidentally make eye contact with someone, that's a good way to get yourself killed in that neighborhood.

Their burgers are juicy and greasy but not too greasy, just the right amount. Of course they are cooked to order and you have the option of adding some delicious grilled onions to the standard lettuce, tomato and pickle. They also have fries that are cut straight from the potato and never frozen. For $5.25 you can get a quarter pounder with fries and a drink. But you should go ahead and add bacon, which is always just the right amount of crispiness, for 75 cents more. They also have some other classics like milk shakes onion rings and corny dogs... but it's really the hamburgers that'll make you want to "boogie".

And don't forget to say high to the homeless guy out front. All he's panhandling for is your smile and a kind word**.


*North. There, now I managed to use all four direction in describing the location of a single place.
** And your money.

"You got this covered"

I attend a contemporary worship service on Sunday evenings. From time to time I am asked to give the sermon at the service. But not earlier tonight, the pastor of the church, Jim, was giving the sermon.

Just as the band was beginning their last song before the sermon, a man came in. I had never seen him before but he sat down behind this guy named Joe and started talking to him. I wondered if he was just some guy looking for handouts but by the way he just started talking to Joe I assumed they knew each other. He spoke to Joe for a minute, I saw Joe shake his head no and the man got up. He came to me. He told me some story about how he was low on gas and he needed a ride to get back to his wife and baby who were in his car at some gas station several miles away. The story he told was insignificant to me as his breath had the yeasty sent of beer. I wasn't going to give this guy any money, and definitely not a ride somewhere.

When he realized I wasn't going to be of any help he moved on to another rube. He happened to ask Pastor Jim next. Now keep in mind all of this is taking place while the band is playing their last song before the sermon and I can forsee some awkwardness as the band will soon finish and Jim is still talking to this grifter. I watch out of the corner of my eye. Jim talks to the man, then taps a guy name Ron on the shoulder and asks him a question. Ron is probably the biggest, most intimidating guy there and he also doesn't smile often. Ron gets up and talks to the guy with Jim. I'm not sure what's going on but Jim is the type to give someone’s story the benefit of the doubt and want to help him. And as Jim approaches me, with that look on his face like he needs to ask me a serious favor, I think to myself "man, this is going to suck."

"Ron and I are going to take this guy to his car. You got this covered?"

As in can I do the sermon in his absence. The sermon that is about to start in less than thirty seconds. Can I do an impromptu sermon and make it actually mean something. That is what he was asking with his nonchalant, "you got this covered."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?" I respond.

"Or I could give you the keys to my car and you could take him."

"I got this. I'll do the sermon."

I felt a whole lot more comfortable getting up completely unprepared and doing a sermon than I did giving this other guy a ride to his , probably non-existent, family.

Jim and Ron and the guy left as I got up and said "Uhhhh... anybody got a bible with them?"

Hue is on first

I had an interview today for a promotion with in Fed Ex. I have been doing double shifts 2 nights a week, working on two different belts and the interview was to make me full time rather than part time. On a side note, when I person is first hired they are assigned to a Load Coach who is to teach the new hire to load. They are in training with the Load Coach for three weeks and then they are done with them. My Load Coach was an Asian guy named Hue (pronounced just like the English name Hugh). Here is part of the conversation of my interview with a Hub Manager.

Manager: "So you have been doing double shifts on Blue belt and Purple belt, that means your supervisors are Mark and... uhh..."

Me: "Mike"

Manager: "Yeah, Mike, that's right. And who was your load coach?"

Me: "Hue."

Manager: "Your Load Coach, who was it?"

Me: "Yeah, that's right."

Manager: "No, I am asking who your Load Coach was."

Me: "Hue."

Manager: "You know, the person that trained you to load when you first started."

Me: "Hue was my load coach."

Manager: "I don't know who your Load Coach was, you should remember that."

Me: "Yeah, Hue was."

Manager: "Do you remember what he looked like?"

Me: "Yeah, the Asian guy."

Manager: "Oh, that's Hue."

You could see it here, when the light went off. He sat for a second as if he was pondering some deep philosophical concept. The he resumed eye contact with me and looked moderately ticked off.

Me: "Oh come on, that was pretty good."

He was definitely not amused. I think he thought I was trying to make a fool out of him... and in hind sight I guess I was. But I got the promotion anyways.


*Disclaimer: The previous conversation may have never actually taken place. This could be one of those cases where I thought of something really funny to say 30 minutes later.

Disappointment of the day

The Mavs dropped DJ Mbenga and signed veteran PF Juwan Howard. Sure Juwan Howard fills a void in the lineup but now who is going to run around wildly at the end of blowout games fouling people? Who? Trenton Hassel? JJ Barea? Nope, no one. Maybe Dirk can pick up some of the slack in that department. Seriously, wouldn't it be fun to see Dirk running around at the end of games just slamming into people like Mbenga used to?

Link to artical

Kevin Smith's ugly child

I was recently reminded of an interview I heard with Kevin Smith on NPR. The interview was, as you would expect, quite entertaining. A few times during the interview Kevin Smith referenced Jersey Girl and how it was a bad movie. This prompted the interviewer to ask "Was there some point during the filming and production of Jersey Girl that you knew it was going to be a bad movie?"

"Um, no. Not really. Not until the first screening anyways. I didn't expect it to be a great movie but I didn't think it would bomb that hard. It's kind of like having an ugly child. No matter how ugly your child may be, you can't see it as an ugly child. Because it's your child. It's not until someone says 'Oh my what an ugly child' that you start to realize your child may be ugly. Eventually there were plenty of people to tell me how ugly my child was."

The entire interview was really great. Thus proving the genius of Kevin Smith and NPR.


*Disclaimer: Kevin Smith's quote may not be exactly what he said, it was a couple of months ago that I heard the interview. But my paraphrase is pretty close.

Quote of the Day

"Don't be frontin'."

This was said to me by one of my co-workers while we were having a small argument. What was funny is how serious he was. He wasn't saying it in a joking manner, he really didn't want me frontin'.

Further more I haven't heard someone apply this word in conversation since... I don't know, 1996*. What does frontin' mean anyways? I have an idea I think, and I know it is apparently negative and/or insulting in some way to be frontin', but I couldn't really begin to form a definition for the word.

Upon further research I have found that frontin' is a slang term meaning to put up a false front, or in other word to be fake and not sincere about the type of person you really are.

I feel that I need to put the argument with my co-worker in better context now. We were loading boxes into a trailer. Our job with each package is to read the zip code of the destination, mark on the box the last digit of the zip code and then load the package. This guys truck was really backed up and my supervisor sent me and another guy to help. The other guy began loading and the "angry co-worker" was reading the zip codes and marking them. It takes a little time to read each zip and mark it on the package, much more time than it takes to load the packages, especially if you have to turn the box a couple of time to find the label. So I decided I would be more helpful by going ahead of the "angry co-worker" and turning all the packages so the label was face up, thus speeding up the process**.

"No, I got it" he said.

"I'm going to turn the labels up for you" I said.

"No I got it, go load."

Keep in mind there is already one guy loading and there is literally one package to be loaded between "Angry co-worker" and the other guy.

"There aren't any packages to load" I said.

"Don't be Frontin'."

"Hey man, I'm just trying to help."

"If it's going to be like that then you can just go on up out this truck." ***

And so I did, 'go on up out that truck'. And I stayed out. And he stayed back up the entire shift. Now who's frontin'? Actually, neither of us, because when he said that it was completely out of context. It sounds stupid when a person uses big words when they don't really know the meaning of them, it sounds even more stupid when a person uses slang words and they don't know the meaning.


* Remember Ebonics?
** I have enough experience to know that this can be very effective when backed up.
*** He was disproportionally mad when he said this.

Telemundo

Some of the best acting in television can be found in Mexican soap operas; though many Americans have never cared to notice. Affairs, sibling rivalries, greed, lust, and murder, all of the key ingredients to good on screen conflict are present in Mexican soaps. Not to mention a diverse cast of characters.* But its the acting that truly defines the Mexican Soap and sets it apart from its American counterparts. In fact the acting is so good you don't need to know Spanish or have the benefit of subtitles. Through delivery, timing, emotion voice inflection and most of all facial expressions you can fully understand** what is going on. A Mexican soap actor could best be compared to a really good mime. You don't have to see the box to know the the tight spot the mime is in.

* There is one girl that has blond hair and blue eyes, clearly not of Mexican decent. Perhaps a native Spaniard, or a Norwegian with a foreign language degree.
** barely understand.

Quote of the Day

“There’s always two things that you need to stop doing, two things you need to keep doing and two things you need to start doing,” -- Avery Johnson.


I'm not sure what that means exactly, but saying things like that is what seperates the good coaches from the great coaches.

Better hurry and get your new tattoos, the NBA season is just around the corner

NBA camps around the league start today and tomorrow. You can read a dozen various interviews for the leagues stars all hopeful about their teams chances. Dirk feels confident this is the year, Shaq is ready for his team to see the trophy again. Tim Duncan expects another championship, Lebron expects his first, the Suns think they're the team and with the Celtics off-season moves they are primed to contend. Some players spent their time off working out, getting in better shape for the upcoming season. Some probably did some endorsement spots with their time off. Other competed internationally representing their various countries. But there is a good bet that many found time to get a new tattoo over this off-season.

Take Stephen Jackson for example. He showed up to training camp and promptly showed off. His obviously proud of his new tatt which covers most of his chest. Its has a church window as the background, two praying hands are inked on his sternum -- and they're holding a gun. Well done Stephen Jackson, bravo to you. There's nothing better than an image that says "My trust is in God but the gun is my savior." The tattoo is only more ironic given Jackson's past involvement in the violent actions of the Pistons-Pacers brawl a few years ago and his more recent arrest, along with former teammate Marquis Daniels, for firing a handgun outside of a bar to break up a bar fight. The new tatt should go a long way prove to his teammates and fans that his past transgressions are behind him.

Mark Cuban's dancing

I watched mark Cuban tear up the floor tonight on Dancing With The Stars. I was impressed at how well he did. He seemed more nimble than I would have thought. But what I really enjoyed was the little behinds the scenes they do of each dancer before they go on. First they show when Cuban and his professional dance partner first meet. Cuban informs her that he just had hip surgery 7 weeks ago and she has this look on her face like WTF. It's funny to me to see someones expression at the exact moment they realize they are going to lose. It's even funnier when that moment is before they ever even start to dance. Cuban then brags that most people are still in crutches at 7 weeks.* Later Cuban shows his scar which stretches from his mid-thigh across his ass cheek. ** Later while they are practicing, after one move Cuban kind of holds his hip. His partner says "Are you okay? Are you holding your rod? (referring to the rod the doctors put into his leg)" Cuban quickly responds, "It's okay, I'm always holding my rod. (not referring to the rod the doctors put into his leg). ***

I am really looking forward to seeing more of him. I hope he doesn't get voted off to quickly so that he can make more of a fool of himself. I like Mark Cuban.

* Mark Cuban doesn't have much humility.
** Mark Cuban doesn't have much class.
*** But Mark Cuban doesn't care either.